Crazy Thoughts

• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?
• Can you cry under water?
• If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong?
• Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?
• What's the difference between a novel and a book?
• How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
• If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
• If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
• If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
• If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.
• Do penguins have knees?
• Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
• How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
• Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
• In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
• Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
• Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
• If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
• Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
• If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
• If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
• If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
• Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?
• Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
• Can you cry underwater?
• You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
• If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?
• Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?
• If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
• Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
• Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
• If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?
• If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
• Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
• Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
• How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?
• If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?
• When the French swear do they say pardon my English?
• Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?
• How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
• Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?
• If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans?
• If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?
• Why are red buttons always the most important?
• How is chess considered a sport?
• Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
• If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?
• If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"?
• If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
• Would you die if you didn't pee?
• Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
• How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.
• Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
• When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?
• If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
• If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?
• Could you be a closet claustrophobic?
• Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?
• If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?
• Where do all the daylight savings hours go?
• Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
• What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?
• Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
• Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?
• How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
• Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?
• Can you slam a revolving door?
• How young can you be, but still die of old age?
• What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?
• Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands?
• Surely he had spoons?
• What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?
• Can you read a picture book?
• Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?
• Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol?
• I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!
• If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror?
• if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?
• What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?
• What shape is the sky?
• If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead?
• Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?

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